D O C U M E N T O F
P E A C E F U L
C O E X I S T E N C E
C O E X I S T E N C E
Laughing Coyote
Mountain
Prologue
of Labor-Management
Contract of Agreement
Contract of Agreement
We, the members of the newly formed Combined
Grand Union (CIO) of the formerly independent Craft & Trade Unions (AFL),
now referred to as Local #1, do hereby reaffirm our good faith toward the
Management of Laughing Coyote Mountain Factory, against whom we recently had a
difference of opinion. (Slave labor! Lockout!)
After exercising our inalienable right to strike and after orderly,
peaceful, reasonable arbitration (All night Brass Knucks!) we are reassured
that all future disagreements and misunderstandings can be resolved by such
methods. In so doing, we are following
precedent established by our forefathers, our fathers, Samuel Gompers, John L.
Lewis, John F. Kennedy and Roger Blough (the SOB). We sincerely pledge ourselves to good faith
in the tradition of America
Big Foot
CGU-Local 1
Spokesman
---------------------------------------------------------------
C*O*N*T*R*A*C*T
| Working Hours: | 5 hours daily maximum, including 1 hour Base Camp Chores |
| Minimum Wage: | 2 Ginger snaps per day per man |
| Overtime: | Time and a Half |
| Hazard Pay: | Double Time for labor in rain, hurricanes, Chinooks, moonlight |
| Management: | No unfair 1930 methods to be used in dealing with future strikes. Payday every day. No work above 80° or below 40° or in rain or snow. |
| Benefits: | Unemployment compensation. Full insurance coverage. Sick pay. Sterile water available during working hours. (Titanic acid thrown in as gesture of good will by Mgmnt) |
| Vacations: | Birthdays and all legal holidays at full pay. |
############# %%%%%%%%%% #############
Subjects Arbitrated
Minimum
Wage: Reduced from original demand of
5 ginger snaps her hour per man (1625 ginger snaps per 5 day week) to above
compromise because this quantity would bankrupt Management and destroy his credit
rating.
Overtime: Reduced from original demand of double time
to time and a half in order to conform to local labor standards in Denver
Benefits: Hot Battery Acid delivered to the job was
dropped. GGUnion decided to strive for necessities without luxuries rather than
luxuries without necessities. Management threatened to supply the above demand
from regular mealtime reserves.
Management: Paydays changed from Fridays to every day.
Men get hungry.
Entertainment:
Girls Scouts on the job. Dropped.
Unreasonable.
For
Management For
Labor
Lingo
The Drifter Muscle
Back
Iron
Jaw
Soaring
Falcon
No comments:
Post a Comment