Wed 11 Jul 1962
The P A N I C P R E S S
Medic Call 989: Buckskin homesick for his dog (half wolf)…Happens every year. Professor Whitney homesick for his dog, cat and affectionate 51 inch boa constrictor. Flying Squirrel, couple hours of the contagion first few mornings… Cure: mutual water drainage with the Prof. Falcon Vanny-sick. Two cases of altitude sickness: two Haigers in a Buckeye Jim heaving duet at the crest. Burning Sand worried he might have something virulent. Possum: Sick of the idea of having to GO home.
********************
BEARDED CHEF PIERRE OF QVORVM RESTROOM HOLDS GOURMET CLASS IN WILDS
In order to be independent, a Mt-Man myst learn food preparation under the most primitive conditions. Piled cook-teaching table with individual fry pans, bear grease, gunpowder. Learn to make Vulcanized Cow Pies. (Relax, Maw! Them’s ourn name fer flapjax!) Eat mouthful of flour first. Without following the sissified, unreasonable directions for teensie weensie measurements, we dump the number of handfuls into a bowl which look sufficient to fill a man’s appetite. Start slopping in raw water. Mix thru stages from dry crud, thru thick paste, to perfect. Soupy paper-making batter is thickened with more flour. Now add any melted bear grease to lubricate each ball-bearing molecule of flour so that when the CO2 gas from the baking powder starts generating, the flour molecules will slip over each other, not stick together, and bubble up into the air-pockets which make the cake light, fluffy and civilized…yum. Each man fry his fill at his own lean-to. Slice salt pork from 10 pound side slab for pan lubrication.
L-T-D
####################
Lecture & Laboratory quickie course on axe, knife and firemaking.
::::::::::::::::::::
Union Split 4-For-1
Job of building the hyperbolic parabaloidic cook tent getting so complicated, jurisdictional dispute requires Carpenter’s Union to trake our Cards in other crafts. Hod-Carriers, Pit-Diggers, Cement-Mixers, and common Laborers Unions organized at 10:31 A.M. Went out on strike at 10:32 A.M. because contractor failed to provide portable, fur lines granite holes. Management blackmails Pit Diggers, Local 99, and threatens to withhold ginger snaps and battery acid. Diggers go out on wildcat strike. Everyone goes out in sympathy. Goldberg called in to mediate. Settlement on ginger snaps achieved. Work resumes. Rain Resumes. Strike Resumes. Ginger snaps consumed during chess games in Medicine lodge. Strike pay collected. Rain Stops. Work starts because edibles all gone. Pattern repeated throughout afternoon.
Muscle Back
Shop Steward
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
C R E S T H I K E
By Avalanche – 2nd Yr Mt-Man
Started to the crest with minimum surval packs. Stopped at Therrough’s Throw and degusted about Therrough. Lingo said that Therrough threw down logs there as schools. Therrough defines a school as a teacher sitting on one ed of a log and a student on the other, degusting ideas.
When we reached the crest, we started a fire and warmed up some buckeye jim. Some of the older mountain men went and meditated a rather cloudy sunset. Then we had popcorn for desert. Afte dessert, Lindo old us the story about Jim Bridger and Hugh Glas.
A few hours after the sunset we started down to camp by moonlight. We went through Therrough’s Throw carefully threading our way down the mountain using a moonlight shuffle to never take our feet off the ground.
No comments:
Post a Comment