THE C H I P M U N K C H E W - O U T
OH NO!! Not ANOTHER Invasion!!
Dawn was breaking quietly.
Juicy snores were echoing down the trail and up off the cliff. Then suddenly,
“BANZAIIIIIIII!!!” A whole horde of
wildly screaming chipmunks attacked the cook tent! Sacks of popcorn kernels went flying into the
air, were chewed open and cheek pouches filled!
Catastrophe, while everyone was sleeping! Was anyone capable enough, brave enough,
noble enough o stop this destruction single-handed/ YES! I! ME! T. Nowell, with the mistaken title of
Cityboy! I armed myself with empty mason
jars and waded into the battle. Before the combat was over, I Tough Trapper
that I am subdued no less than 10 of the varmints! This obviously will be a non-forgettable
record to last throughout the years! Such Heroism! I am, herewith, submitting myself
for the Congressional Medal of Honor!
Signed, ME!
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JUDGEMENT AT
LAUGHING COYOTE
“The Invasion Leader of
the Chipmunks was brought to trial immediately after the smoke of battle died
down. Right then we appointed a Judge, Timber, a prosecutor, White Belt, and a
defense, Magpie. The jury was all the rest of the men standing around the cook
table. Opening statement of the prosicuiting attorney said that they had caught
him red handed with popcorn in his pouches.
But then the defense attorney began to cry and all the jury wept as he
pleaded: “Can we condemn this poor chipmunk? After all, the man that caught him
had to skeem. To make the catch he had to make a plot and ruthlessly trap the
poor animal. This man he made a trap with a glass jar, to make the poor thing
think there was a way out through the bottom!
By now the whole jury was bawling!
“The first witness,
Cityboy Newell was called, but he did not have much chance to talk and explain
because the jury booed him down. Then the next surprise witness was called:
Lingo. He testified and the bottom fell
out of the prosecuters case. He said all the chipmunks were LADIES and that
they were from the Health Department and that they were just helping us keep
the camp neat and clean and safe from bacteria.
Well, right then and there, the jury voted to release the poor, darling
little misunderstood chipmunks. But when they took the rock off the jar, she
said she wanted to till live with us because the eating was so good. So we put
the prosecuter in the jar and made her and her crew Honorary Mountain Men. This
was a heroic victory for the forces of justice. The hero of the day was the
great and handsome defence attorney.
Chattering Magpie
Defense Attorney
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HIKE TO ACROPOLIS HILL - by – - - - - - - - Shooting Star
“Scouts out! Count off!
We are on the trail. Puff! Puff! When we got there we looked around at the old
buildings. Muscles and Ion Jaw built a fireplace to cook tea. While drinking
out tea we heard a Jeep so everybody dropped flat. Iron Jaw and White Belt shared the cow pie
they both dropped into. Later we found a comic page dated March 13, 1949 ,
Sunday Denver Post. Next Magpie swiped White Belt’s hat and took off. White
Belt cornered him in one of the buildings --- ‘EEEEeeeek!! Ouch!! HELP!! .. ..
..?????” After we quietly finished our tea, we buried the body and retuned the
area to Nature so no one would know we had been there. Tooting Bald Iggle and
that great and handsome Shooting Star played taps on their bugles. It was heard
all the way back to Base Camp and probably down in Central Sewer too. Pulled
into Base Camp for supper and evening stories about little imps eating
heads.
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